


His Everything (3x08 Coda)

by destimushi



Series: 9-1-1 Buddie Codas [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Massage, soft smut, soft!buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 20:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21434464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destimushi/pseuds/destimushi
Summary: It’s so...normal. So domestic. Something Eddie hasn’t had with anyone for a long, long time. Sure, before Christopher, this was his life with Shannon, but then he ran away, and in his cowardice, he destroyed his everything.Now, he gets a second chance, and that sits like a lump of coal in the pit of his stomach. He’s the last person who deserves a second chance at a life like this, and it pisses him off that no one gets it. No one understands his need to atone for his sins.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: 9-1-1 Buddie Codas [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1526861
Comments: 25
Kudos: 344





	His Everything (3x08 Coda)

**Author's Note:**

> There's art for this week's coda!! Please check out the art [here](https://imyourbuddie.tumblr.com/post/189060063106/when-eddie-gets-home-buck-is-already-there)!!! It's a gif and everything!

When Eddie gets home, Buck is already there, dressed in Eddie’s Army t-shirt and sweatpants. The aroma of garlic and onions permeates the air, and Eddie’s stomach makes a scene despite his pathetic appetite these days. 

Eddie knows Buck’s going to be here, but seeing him move around in Eddie’s kitchen with such familiarity and ease makes Eddie’s chest ache. Bittersweet, as one would call it, except right now Eddie’s a little more bitter than sweet. 

Eddie drops his bag by the kitchen counter, and Buck glances over his shoulder with a soft smile. “Welcome home.”

“Hey,” Eddie replies. He wants to give Buck a kiss and a hug, but he’s afraid what Buck’s usual bone-crushing hugs would do to his bruised ribs. So, he hangs back and busies himself with taking off his coat. “Is Christopher in bed?”

“Yeah, Carla put him to bed before I got here.” Buck sets the pot he’s holding on the stove top and turns to face Eddie. “How was your day?”

Eddie shrugs, and tries not to wince when the movement agitates his ribs. Fuck, that’s going to take some time. “Good. Have a good day off?” 

Buck smiles and it’s like watching sunbeams shaft through storm clouds. “Yeah. Was great. Got a few things done, did some shopping, and now I’m cooking. Trying out a new recipe Cap taught me. I think it’s turning out better than I hoped.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?” 

“I forget the name, but something with garlic and onions in it, and spinach. Oh, and chicken and pasta.” Buck lists each ingredient while counting it off with his fingers. “Tastes pretty good. Why don’t you go wash up and I’ll have it all set by the time you get back.”

Eddie nods and grunts a response, turning away quickly so Buck can’t see the rims of his eyes reddening. He hurries upstairs and strips out of his work clothes, then steps into the bathroom, and his heart warms at the three toothbrushes sitting in three neatly arranged cups on the bathroom counter. 

It’s so... _ normal. _ So domestic. Something Eddie hasn’t had with anyone for a long, long time. Sure, before Christopher, this was his life with Shannon, but then he ran away, and in his cowardice, he destroyed his everything. 

Now, he gets a second chance, and that sits like a lump of coal in the pit of his stomach. He’s the last person who deserves a second chance at a life like this, and it pisses him off that no one gets it. No one understands his need to atone for his sins. 

Eddie splashes cold water on his face, then stares up into his dripping reflection while he waits for the shower to heat up. The man staring back at him is a stranger. He’s got Eddie’s face, but his eyes are tired, deep shadows playing in the lines in the corners of his mouth. When did he become this person? 

With an angry shake of his head, Eddie breaks eye contact with the mirror and steps under the scalding spray of the shower. Once clean, he dresses quickly and crosses the hall to peek into Christopher’s room, taking comfort in his calm, even breathing. Satisfied, he heads back downstairs, following the amazing smells coming out of the kitchen. His stomach twists, reminding him that he hasn’t eaten since Cap’s roast beef sandwiches at lunch. 

Buck already has the table set. Their food is served, paired with a white wine in chilled glasses, and Buck is mucking about on his phone, sitting in the spot that’s now distinctively Buck’s at the dinner table. 

The scene in front of him should warm him, but it leaves Eddie chilled to the bone. A house, food on the table, his best friend and lover waiting for him, his child asleep in his room. He’s got a job he loves, a team who has his back, a captain who loves him and cares for him like a father. His life is perfect. And that rankles him. 

Buck looks up from his phone and smiles, and Eddie’s heart skips a beat at the happiness in Buck’s eyes. “Hey, come and try this. I think you’ll like it.”

Eddie slips into his seat across from Buck and picks up his fork. Guilt swirls in his gut, and despite the constant drum rolls from his stomach, he has no desire to eat. Buck is here for him, so gentle and caring and attentive, and Eddie’s keeping shit from him. Keeping secrets he should be sharing with the man who curled up in the hole where his heart used to be because that’s what lovers do. That’s what best friends do. 

Shit travels fast in the one-eighteen. Would Buck find out about his street fighting through someone else? Would Lena tell? Would Bobby? Somehow, despite the fact that the whole unit is one giant, loving pool of gossip, Eddie  _ knows _ Bobby wouldn’t. And neither would Lena. 

He should tell Buck. No, he  _ needs _ to tell Buck. Because Buck deserves at least that much. Eddie owes him that much after the big deal he made out of Buck’s lawsuit. 

“Buck—”

Buck holds up a finger, his expression somber as he shakes his head. “I saw you talk to Cap yesterday.” Eddie’s stomach drops. “You can talk to me when you’re ready.”

“I—” 

Buck touches Eddie’s lips with that same finger. “You’re not ready. Now, eat, before your stomach thinks your throat’s been cut.”

Eddie swallows the lump in his throat as warmth spreads from his lips where Buck’s skin touches his. Buck’s right. He’s not ready, but he’s damned if he didn’t wish he was. 

Buck pulls his hand away, and Eddie aches for that simple touch. They eat in silence, and Eddie’s surprised at how much he enjoys the meal. He hasn’t taken any interest in food for a while now, and the only thing sustaining him is Cap’s family meals at the station. Of course, he packs Christopher’s lunches and makes him breakfast, but the idea of actually eating for  _ him _ hasn’t been all that exciting. 

They clear the table together after the meal, and Eddie helps Buck load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. Buck never stays the night on a work night, and as they put away the last of the dirty dishes and wipe down the counter, that bone-chilling loneliness crawls back. 

Usually, after dinner, Buck and Eddie will cuddle up on the couch and watch something before Buck heads home. However, instead of heading into the living room like they normally do, Buck takes Eddie’s hand and leads him upstairs. Eddie ignores the spark of hope flickering in his stomach, too afraid to utter a single word as he follows Eddie to his bedroom. 

Buck sits him down on the bed, then winks before leaving the room. He’s back in seconds, a plastic bag in one hand and a thick towel tucked under his arm. 

“Thought we try something different tonight,” he says as he drops the towel next to Eddie and pulls out the contents of the bag. 

A bottle of massage oil, a tube of Voltaren, a small jar of Tiger Balm, and a large candle with a lavender label. 

“What’s all this?” Eddie looks between the pile of stuff on his bed and Buck. 

“Get naked, then lay down on your front”—Buck closes the bedroom door—“and put this towel over you.”

Eddie watches as Buck lights the candle and turns off the light, then yanks his shirt over his head. Buck’s filling out again since the accident. He’s not where he was when they first met, but his abs are becoming more defined. His pecs are fuller, his arms thicker, and Eddie’s mouth waters as lithe muscles shift under Buck’s soft skin. The candle casts a soft glow along Buck’s naked torso, and Eddie swallows before remembering he’s also supposed to get naked. 

He sheds his clothes, and hesitates before grabbing the towel and draping it over his back as he lays face down on the bed. The air chills his skin, but the towel is warm and soft and soon, Eddie’s melting into the comforter as he waits for Buck to...do whatever Buck’s planning on doing. 

The bed dips, and Eddie doesn’t have time to wonder if Buck’s fully naked when strong, slippery hands squeeze Eddie’s left calf. Eddie hisses as fingers dig into his tight muscles. Shit, has he been holding that much tension even in his calves? Eddie grunts as those fingers work their way up and over the curve of his calf, then down, before moving onto the other leg. 

The faint smell of almonds and jasmine join the lavender candle, the scents mingling and spreading until the whole room is filled with it. Buck’s hands are steady and unhurried as he works the knots out of Eddie’s calves, then pushes the towel up until it rests just under Eddie’s ass. Buck straddles Eddie’s calves, then a more focused pressure rolls along the back of Eddie’s thighs. The oil is warm, and Buck’s hands are steady as they squeeze and knead and glide along Eddie’s skin. 

Eddie tries to keep track of where Buck’s hands are, but as his legs slowly turn into putty under Buck’s skilled touch, his mind wanders, and he doesn’t notice the towel being pulled from his torso until he shivers in the cool air. 

Buck’s sitting astride his ass, that much Eddie can tell. He can also feel the distinctively hot press of Buck’s cock against his crack. He makes to move, but Buck puts a solid hand on his back and eases him back down. There’s no movement for a long moment. Buck must have seen the patch of purple and blue down his ribs. 

Eddie swallows, and tension creeps back into his shoulders. Is Buck angry? Disappointed? Disgusted? Before Eddie can turn around, an apology on the tip of his tongue, the smell of mint hits him. When Buck’s fingers first make contact with his ribs, Eddie hisses, but the pain is short lived as Buck works Tiger Balm into the abused flesh. 

The smell is overwhelming, but as Buck works the ointment into Eddie’s skin, the sharp pain recedes until it’s a dull ache Eddie can easily ignore, and something settles in his chest. 

Peace. 

Buck doesn’t say anything as he works magic along Eddie’s skin and muscles. He could have been at it for minutes or hours or a lifetime, but time loses its hold on Eddie as Buck works out every little knot out of Eddie’s back and shoulders and arms. Where there are aches and bruises, Buck would switch to Tiger Balm or Voltaren cream, and where there’s just tension, he would rub massage oil between his hands before digging skilled fingers into the muscles, kneading and coaxing until Eddie’s one giant puddle of goo. 

Eddie’s floating on clouds, and for the first time in a long time, he’s at ease. No anger, no pain, just euphoria as he basks in all this love and attention. Buck takes him apart piece by piece, then greases him up and puts him back together again. It’s a feeling unlike any other, to trust someone so completely, but it feels right because it’s  _ Buck _ . 

“Hmm, Eddie, you still there?” Buck’s soft voice caresses Eddie’s skin and Eddie stirs. 

“Mhmm.”

“Turn over for me, baby,” Buck murmurs as he slips a hand under Eddie’s left shoulder. Cool air washes across Eddie’s backside where Buck was straddling him, and Eddie shivers. 

Eddie turns around lazily and smiles when Buck’s naked body settles across his lap. Eddie’s cock stirs, and he goes from half hard to full mast in seconds. Buck glances down, then looks up with that devilish grin that turns Eddie’s mind to mush every time. 

“Hello there, big guy,” Buck says with a smirk. 

Eddie groans and throws his head back into the pillow. He’s so relaxed he can hardly move his arms, but he makes a valiant effort, and his hands land on Buck’s spread knees. “ _ Mi amor, que hermoso. _ ” 

Buck’s smile turns soft, and the look in his eyes is so tender Eddie forgets how to breathe. 

“You too, baby,” Buck whispers and runs slick fingers up Eddie’s torso. 

Eddie’s eyes flutter shut as Buck kneads his pecs with more oil. He’s careful with Eddie’s ribs, skirting around the bruise, and despite Eddie’s best efforts to stay focused, he loses himself in the glide of Buck’s hands. 

The lavender candle burns brightly on the nightstand, and with every lazy breath Eddie draws, the scent empties his mind a little more, dragging him down until everything is fuzzy. It’s incredible to be worshipped like this. To be the center of someone’s— _ Buck’s _ —attention. To be loved and cherished and cared for. 

Bobby’s words float back to haunt him. 

_ You don’t have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything _ .

It didn’t make sense then, and it still doesn’t make sense now. Eddie hasn’t lost anything, and that’s why he’s so desperate to keep it together, so he can keep...feeling. But he hasn’t felt anything in a long time, not truly, because he couldn’t allow himself that luxury. Because if he started feeling again, the bad that comes with the good might scare him off again, and this time, what happens if he runs?

“Hey, Eddie.” Buck taps Eddie’s jaw, bringing Eddie back to the here and now. “I don’t know what you’re struggling with right now, and you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. I just need you to know that I’m here, and I’m ready to listen whenever you need me.”

Eddie blinks, and, god, he’s going to start crying a second time in as many days. 

“Until then, just...let me love you,” Buck whispers and leans over Eddie’s body, the heat of his skin almost too much for Eddie to handle. “Let me take some of the weight off your shoulders. It’s what friends do, right?”

Eddie opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Buck smiles that knowing smile, then saves Eddie the trouble of looking for words. His lips are soft, like the gentle caress of a spring breeze, and Eddie gasps as a sob lodges in his throat. Buck pulls back, then darts in again, planting his lips on the corner of Eddie’s mouth. A butterfly kiss, subtle but present, and a reminder that Eddie is precious. 

Buck’s large hands cup Eddie’s jaw, and the lingering scent of jasmine is intoxicating as he works Eddie’s mouth with tender kisses. It’s not enough. It’s too much. It’s more than Eddie can handle yet he wants more. Wants to crawl into Buck’s mouth and never be apart from the man who put his heart back together again. 

Eddie runs his hands up Buck’s thighs, around his ass, up his back, mapping out every inch of him, memorizing every dip and valley of Buck’s body. He never wants to go without the feel of Buck on him, in him, all around him ever again, and the thought fuels his passion as he cants his hips. 

Their hard cocks slide alongside each other, slick with pre-come, and Buck gasps as he pulls back to stare into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie searches Buck’s face and can’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his lips when Buck’s looking down at him like he hung the goddamn moon. 

“I got you, Eddie,” Buck whispers into the scant space between their lips. “I love you.”

Eddie’s chest burst with so many emotions he can hardly breathe. He wants to say it back, in English, in Spanish, but his brain shorts, and the only language he’s left with is the universal language of a burning kiss. 

He captures Buck’s lips, and this time, there’s nothing sweet and languid about the nips of their teeth and their tangled tongues. Buck reaches a hand between them and grasps both their cocks, his palm already slick with oil. Sparks fly across Eddie’s vision, and he wraps his arms around Buck’s neck, pulling him down so Eddie can thoroughly ravish Buck’s mouth. 

Buck strokes them with long, steady pulls, and it doesn’t take long before they’re both panting and squirming, their hips canting and jerking in time. Eddie glances down the narrow space between the planes of their chests, and the sight of his cock nudged so close to Buck’s tips him over the edge. 

Hot ropes of come splash across Eddie’s chest, and he’s barely aware of Buck’s body going rigid on top of him. Buck’s fist tightens, and Eddie can’t help the low growl of pained pleasure as his orgasm works its way through him. 

Buck hangs above him, his arm trembling as he struggles to hold himself up. Eddie pulls Buck down on top of him with shaking hands, and they deflate together into the cocoon of Eddie’s bed. Buck’s weight is comforting like a weighted blanket, except this blanket is covering Eddie’s face with wet, ticklish kisses, and Eddie wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Then, when they can’t stand the sticky mess between them anymore, Buck rolls off and grabs the towel by Eddie’s feet. He cleans them both up before Eddie pulls the covers back and burrows under it with Buck wrapped in his arms. 

It’s been a shit show of a week. His ribs, the guy he nearly killed, his forever worry for Christopher, and Hen. Poor Hen is going through some shit right now and Eddie doesn’t know how to help her. But that’s all worries for tomorrow. Tonight, right now, Eddie’s warm and full and relaxed and he’s got his world in his arms. He can be content, he’ll  _ allow _ himself to be because contentment is a gift from Buck. 

And that is everything to him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come join us on [Discord](https://discord.gg/QBgJPg3)! 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [@imyourbuddie](https://imyourbuddie.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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